Thursday, December 22, 2011

You are basically telling me...

 Though I really do plan to keep this blog as positive as possible, everything isn't always rainbows and butterflies-unfortunately.

While I made this blog almost a month before I even attempted to write anything, and still have all of these grandeur plans to make it pretty and creative and a super awesome place to hang out; I get so overwhelmed with the ideas and slink away into a corner and try to forget about the whole idea.

well guess what? Doing that doesn't really get me very far. At all. Period. I realized after a conversation/ request turned into a colorful battle of the tongue. My natural reaction was to slink away, take all of the pressure and anger onto my shoulders, and just hide until it passed. It feels like CRAP! Yup, crap! You know why? Because it is CRAP! I shouldn't have that kind of "fight or flight" reaction to everything I do. I shouldn't hide from the difficult, or take all of the bad and keep it for myself. Psssshhh, this blog is for sharing. I like sharing. So share I shall do!

Just by typing this all out I am going against my natural instincts... I am going into uncharted territory. It's terrifying, and amazing all at one.

What if no one ever reads this? Am I the only one that feels this way? Is this really just one of my melodramatic moments and it's honestly something small and stupid that no one cares about? Yes it is melodramatic, yes it is small; but the small stuff builds up...  plus I know I am not the only one who feels discouraged and scared. It's weird to admit but hey, we are friends now right?

Since I have not fully committed to the format of my blog, we are just going to wing it the first few posts.
I think since I made this silly thing as a way to connect to like-minded/ inspired people, as therapy from my incredibly hectic day-to-day, and as a way for me to rediscover who I really am-how I feel- and what I love to do; it will be JUST THAT!!
I have decided that if you are willing to read this, and have gotten this far [there is no turning back now, you are invested in this post] we are going to be friends, so I will talk to you as such. We can work out my problems together, and then hopefully I can help you out too!!!

I think this incredibly lengthy and rambling post needs a picture just to break up the text... so I will add them in later :) Probably of me.. looking like a zombie, sleep deprived and in desperate need of coffee or ice cream! [Yeah, I left this ramble in here... because I want to share all of these silly thoughts with you! Feel free to poke fun at me for it.]

So I guess that is THAT. Right? Meh, we shall see. I might even take this post down later and replace it with something far more interesting.

So for now I am going to just post up some stuff to see how it looks and go from there.
Bye friend!